From the first day I started on my Make-It-Stick Challenge, I have been quite preoccupied with this blog.  And rightly so, since I feel obligated, to myself and to anyone who finds this blog, to be true to my word.  But today I was so busy that I couldn't even find time to think about anything at all and so I sat down tonight not knowing where my conversation would lead me.  My husband started talking to me about how proud he is of my commitment to this; which I know he was doing to motivate me.  He is a wonderful man.  Well, he most certainly did start me thinking.  Actually, he reminded me of something I've thought of often in the past several weeks.

Since I was a little girl, I have been performing in one capacity or another:  singing, dancing, writing, acting.  I got a B.A. for it.  Back in the summer, I applied to graduate school because the program I was interested in would use ALL of everything I have at my disposal; as opposed to just singing or just acting, for example.  Indeed, starting in January, I will begin a graduate program; but not for anything theatre related.  No, I'll be starting toward my masters in Human Resources Development.

How did I get here? 

Well, this causes me to reflect.  As I mentioned, the reason I chose to apply to that particular graduate program for theatre was that it stated quite clearly that it was a program for people who were looking to use EVERYTHING they were; for people who wanted to use all of their talents to create new forms of theatre.  I didn't get in but I did receive an encouraging letter asking me to apply again next year because I was quite qualified; there was just simply not enough space for the many qualified candidates.  But I didn't consider applying again.  Instead, I reevaluated my entire life and decided to start over from square one.

That reflection helped me to realize something.  All my life I have wanted to make a difference.  I have wanted to touch people and to help them feel better.  I'm sure the first person I wanted to feel better was myself but somewhere along the line it turned into wanting to take other people with me on whatever journeys I took.  When I combined that realization with the skills I've developed over 25 years of working, I came to human resources as the place I should be.  And that's how I got here - at Sister Village, building from the bottom up.

I have learned that every step we take is leading us somewhere.  I am sure I've mentioned something similar to that in a previous blog.  The funny thing is, I truly believe that in the end I will find myself in the exact same place I would have found myself had I pursued a different route or chosen a different journey.  Because the destination is inside myself.  It's a place where I decided long ago that I would be.  Whether through song, a written piece, establishing corporate policies or by helping someone find employment, it is my destiny to take people along with me on my journey. 

And so, when I look into the mirror; when I reflect on where I've been and where I'm going, I like what I see looking back at me because I'm living my authentic life; spending every day just as I choose.  It's a gift that not everyone has the privilege of finding.  But it's my hope that everyone who visits Sister Village will look inside themselves and ask, "How did I get here?  And is this where I really want to be?"  Answering the questions has a funny way of sending you off on a journey.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on where you are, how you got there and if you are where you want to be.

Today, Sister Village held its first official meeting.  All two of us had a great time!  It was a very productive meeting where we accomplished exactly what we set out to do:  create Sister Village's mission statement.  I encourage you all to mosey on over to the "About" section and then to "Our Mission."  It's the best way to find out exactly what is on the minds of Sharon and myself and why we have started this venture.

As I said in yesterday's blog, I know it is ambitious and I know it's a very steep climb.  But I also know that it can be done.  Anything can be done once someone decides it is their life's work and that's what I have done.

If any of you have been wondering "What on earth is she getting at?" well now we have articulated it.  Having done so, we hope that you will join our little venture and work toward becoming a community of women seeking a community of women.  We can all do this together both here online and in our neighborhoods.  It is going to be a learning experience for Sharon and myself and, as we learn, we are looking forward to helping any of you out there accomplish this in your own neighborhoods.

If you have an interest in keeping up with this journey, please, subscribe to the blogs and keep your eye on  the section called "The Village" so that you can always catch the latest Buzz (what we are calling our meetings); and then mosey on over to that guest book and the forum and let us know who you are, where you are and what you think.

And for those of you who have discovered us and have visited more than once, we humbly thank you.

  It is time to begin the Sister Village journey.  I don’t quite know how to accomplish this; I only have the picture in my mind of what it will be when it gets where it’s going.  In an earlier blog, I said that every journey begins with just one step.  But which direction to take that step is totally dependent upon the final destination.  If I walk out the front door to go someplace, without a clear idea of where I’m headed, I don’t know whether to go to the right or to the left.  So here is the destination from which I will work backward, the description of Sister Village when it has reached its prime and is successfully carrying out its mission statement:

Sister Village has been a catalyst for the support, encouragement and mentoring of women across the nation.  Because of Sister Village, women everywhere know that under all circumstances of life, there is a door that is open, there is a shoulder to cry on, there is a sister to share a cup of tea with and to talk; there is someone to teach them to see themselves in a better light, to share techniques for improving their self-esteem and their ways of dealing with difficulties; there is a sister who wants to know how their day is going and who is there to listen to the good and bad of it all.  Sister Village’s doors have been open to all women who feel they have a need or are capable of helping another sister fulfill her needs.  Through Sister Village, women who have faced difficulties and have survived have learned self-sufficiency, the meaning of true friendship and the possibilities that exist when there is someone there to help them along. 

That is the destination of Sister Village – a tremendously ambitious summit to reach and one which will require a very long hike of learning, planning and building.  I am thinking of the summit as being a sort of girls club for adult women – a Women’s Club of America, so to speak; a sorority with no prerequisite except for a deep need for devoted friendships, the need to be needed and the loyalty to see it through. 

Tomorrow I will meet with my first sister, Sharon, and we will talk about what steps to take to get to the summit.  We will talk and listen, share and brainstorm and somehow I know we will figure out which way to walk through this door.  As we move along, we would love for any of you out there to join up with us and, to that end, I have some questions for you:

What would you want from a national women’s club?  What would you personally have to offer?  Do you believe there are women out there who are craving such relationships? 

If you have any comments on this subject or ideas or even criticisms, please feel free to walk on over to the Forums section and leave a comment or post a new topic.  Your thoughts will be read and considered.

Thank you.

I figure whenever the universe keeps bringing the same thing to my attention, it must want me to learn something from it.  One day last week, my husband came in excited after work talking about this great class he had taken.  (He works for a great company that is always offering professional and self-development classes; oh, if only all companies thought that way.)  He told me about the Kiersey personality test and how it turns out he’s a guardian with artisan tendencies and he was so enthusiastic about it that we sat down and figured out where I would fit.  I came out as an idealist which was absolutely no surprise to either of us.

This evening I sat down to engage in my ICLW activities and the very first blog I came upon sent me to a Jung personality test.  You can take it here.  When the results came up, turns out it’s the same test.  Shocker:  I came out as an idealist/teacher (which irked me just a little because people have been trying to push me into teaching for as long as I can remember and, indeed, I do have a rather extensive teaching background; though not necessarily in the traditional sense).  I read through the entire explanation of my results (ENFJ) and, lo and behold, it was me in a nutshell. 

Now there are lots of personality tests out there and lots of career personality tests out there but this one is truly uncanny.  Hit the nail absolutely on the head for both myself and my husband (through his class at work).  I would advise anyone who likes to examine themselves to take some time and look it over.  I think you’ll be amazed.

But that’s not what this blog is about.  The conversation my husband and I had led us to this conclusion, the same one the facilitator discussed at his job:  we are all NECESSARY and USEFUL.  At any given workplace, in any given social group, in any given activity, personality differences abound.  Of the personalities, some get along like ice cream and pie and some get along like oil and vinegar.  But remove any of them and what you often end up with is a group that can’t reach its potential.  Imagine if everyone on a team were impulsive.  Who would do the careful research and planning that will aid in protecting the interests of the group and its activities?  On the other hand, imagine if no one was impulsive.  Where on earth would spontaneity and great ideas come from?  If everyone was outgoing and loved to talk, who would listen?  If everyone was quiet and shy and a great listener, what would there be to listen to? 

I don’t really know what point I’m trying to make in all of this except to say that perhaps if we all just realize how necessary we all are, how we are all just working parts of one machine, then perhaps we will be more able to accept the differences between us and really get to the business of gleaning the best out of each and every person on our teams, in our families, on our jobs.  Once we do that, then every group can soar and every person in it can soar right along with it.

Hmm, an unexpected dilemma.  How to blog during a 30-day blog challenge when one of those 30 days is an official non-blogging day.  Well, not that it's a non-blogging day.  It's just that mine is not a holiday family, so to speak.  There is absolutely no need to explain that, I feel.  There are many families who celebrate one holiday, many who celebrate others and many who celebrate actually very few things or none at all and that's the way the world turns.   On the other hand, it is most decidedly a holiday for the majority of people and I certainly do not want to offend them (nor be offended by them for something as trivial as this little blog on a major holiday when the last thing on anyone's mind is blogging).  Yet, there's the problem of my 30-day challenge and I just know someone would show up at the end of the 30 days and say, "(clearing throat) Excuse me, Robin, but you actually failed to produce on December 25th."  So what to do.

Well, I've decided I do have something to say that satisfies all of the requirements and also comes from my heart. 

I love it when I get this time to spend with my family.  When my husband doesn't have work on his mind and there's nothing we have to get done, like the marketing, because there's nowhere to do it.  When my sons - who are both in college but who live at home - actually don't rush out to their social lives and actually do hang around the house and conversation occurs and everything is leisurely and nice and warm.  When I, the one person who is most inclined to work ALL the time actually has to take a break because there are no clients to work for. 

So yes, even for me and mine it is indeed a holiday.  I might even, after the boys finally decide they just have to venture out tonight (because, after all, they are young and there are adventures to be had) pour myself a glass of wine, turn on that lovely cable channel with the burning logs (yes, there is actually a channel that does that for hours on end!) and make googly eyes at my husband (or play little reindeer games).  Either way, it's a nice evening following a nice day at home with my family.

I hope each and every one of you has enjoyed at least as much.

I’ve always felt odd.  I’ve always felt that I was the one sticking out in the room:  the one whose conversation was a little off kilter with everyone else’s; the one who talked just a little bit louder than everybody else; the one mostly likely to care a little too much about the subject of the conversation.  The weird one.  The different one.  The square peg trying to fit into a round hole.

Well, let’s look at that theory for a moment.  When you see a bunch of square pegs fitting comfortably in their assigned square holes, then you are seeing something quite normal.  Dictionary definitions of “normal” include:  conforming to the standard; approximately average.  Some synonyms of “normal” include:  customary; ordinary; run of the mill, typical; free from mental disorder; sane.  Wow, hmm.

Now, I suppose this wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t find that I am most often irritated or even offended by the so-called status quo:  relationships that leave one or both people feeling neglected, unsupported or, worse, abused; low self-image that never improves; injustice for any number of reasons; students roaming campuses in robot-like depression (which studies show is increasing rapidly).  Yet, these are all quite common things that more women than not deal with everyday (this is from my own experience and too many women I know).  So yes, this is the normal, sane way of walking through life.

It would certainly be quite an odd thing to walk past someone determined to force a square peg into a round hole.  Yes, this would be odd, unusual, and certainly extraordinary as compared to the “normal” people who wouldn’t waste their time doing such impossible tasks as this.  Some definitions of “extraordinary" are:  beyond what is ordinary or usual; employed or used for a special service, function or occasion.  Some synonyms of “extraordinary” include:  unusual, unique, exceptional, rare, and gnarly.

From all this, I infer that it would be considered normal for me to hide my eyes, turn my head and refuse to buck against a system that fosters loneliness, emotional pain, low self-esteem, lack of confidence and a lack of mentorship.  To accept and live with this status quo would be sane.

Sister Village is here for those who are extraordinary; for those who want something better for themselves and for others; for those who are suffering from the mental disorder of wanting to make a difference – crazy idealists who can close their eyes and visualize nationwide friendship and sisterhood. 

While you’re enjoying your holiday gatherings, look around.  Is there someone sitting off to the side, looking uncomfortable, not reaching out?  Is there one person that always seems to be the one everyone else is correcting or, worse, criticizing?  Is there someone who just won’t come downstairs?  Is that person you?  Whether it’s you or whether it’s someone else, Sister Village is here; ready to be a support and a friend.  Drop us a line.  As Sister Village grows – and it will – we would love for you and all your oddness to join with us to become part of the extraordinary movement of change.  Gnarly.

This has been a wonderful week.  I’ve e-met so many wonderful women out there in Blogland.  They’ve dropped by to see me; I’ve dropped by to see them; and many now hold spots on my My Yahoo page so that I can check on them often and see what they’re up to.  It has been a wonderful adventure.  I realize I’m speaking about it as though it’s over.

No, it is by no means over.  On the contrary, it is only just beginning (let’s not forget my Make-It-Stick Challenge and the long-term purpose of that!).  But today I want to bring the focus back to the purpose of Sister Village.  Now, that’s not a bad thing (for any of you who might have just hung your heads and said, “Darn!”).  No, Sister Village’s purpose is to find and nurture all of these lovely new friendships – and all the humor, crying, information and advice that go with them – and then use them to branch out into the communities and become real friends who gather together at real places and give real hugs to our sisters.  (We’re going to call every meeting a Village Buzz.)

I invite you to mosey on over to the other pages of this site and take a peek at what Sister Village is all about.  And then I invite you to pull up a cup of tea and a chair next to the hearth of your own hearts and ask yourself, “Do I have anything I can offer?  Does Sister Village have something to offer me that I can pass on to someone else?”  And then I invite you to join us in our ambitious, long-term quest to become a community presence in your city or town, on your college campus.  I know that final destination is a long, long way off but every journey begins with just one step.  Sister Village is one step toward being there for women and young girls in need of friendship, encouragement, mentoring and hugs.

If you would like to see where the journey takes us, please mosey on over to the Guestbook and leave a comment about who you are and how you might personally use or benefit from Sister Village (or whatever else you’d like to say about it).  And then, please pass it on to someone else.  It takes a village to raise a village.

Best to all of you.

(Hi, Kelly.)

So my friend made a comment on how women are the greatest multitaskers in the world.  I’m sure most are.  Sadly, I can’t accept this compliment on my own behalf along with all my sisters who probably are great multitaskers.  Oh yes, I do a lot of things and I do them all at once.  But there are some areas where many of my sisters would shake their heads in shame and embarrassment for me.  Here is one such sad spectacle. 

Many Sunday mornings, my wonderful husband will come downstairs and make breakfast for the family.  Oh, this makes my heart feel all warm and puffy inside.  But I cannot watch him do this wonderful thing because it makes me writhe in frustration while at the same time realizing this is a wonderful thing and he is a wonderful man and it’s so nice not to have to do it myself.  Sometimes I have allowed myself to sip on tea and watch him do this as I watch Meet the Press but, mostly, I try to avoid witnessing it.

At whatever time he begins, he empties the dishwasher; carefully placing all items which failed to dry into the drainer.  When he has cleared the dishwasher, he dries all of the items which he placed into the drainer and puts them away.  No food is being prepared.  Anything left over from last night – such as the popcorn bowl, a wine glass, little dishes from the late-night snacks that were had – he washes and places in the drainer.  He dries those dishes placed in the drainer and puts them away.  No food is being prepared.  He has let the dog out and while she is out he will fill her bowls with food and water and perhaps let her back in if it isn’t a nice morning outside.  No food is being prepared.  He sets the table; beautifully, I might add.  No food is being prepared. 

After this meticulous prelude, my husband will put on the kettle so that he might have a cup of coffee and I a cup of tea.  He will put the oven on the lowest setting and place a plate inside to keep all of the (future) food warm.  He will decide if we are having bacon or sausage or both or neither and he will prepare them accordingly.  When they are finished, he will place them on the dish in the oven and the fragrance will begin to wake my sons.  He will decide if he is going to make pancakes and if he is, then he will make his batter and make batch after batch until he has used all the batter.  His pancakes are beautiful and perfect.  He will put each batch, buttered, into the oven with the bacon or sausage or both or neither.  He will wash the pan.  He will make bright yellow eggs with ooey-gooey cheese and he will place these into the oven with the pancakes and the yummy-smelling breakfast meats.  He will make juices as needed; orange, grape.  He will call us all to the table.  We will sit and eat the perfectly-browned, yummy-smelling breakfast meats and the golden-colored, round, pancakes and the eggs with the ooey-gooey cheese. It’s a feast.  We are all quite spoiled. 

It took over an hour-and-a-half – which is why, of course, I can’t watch it.  What the hell!  An hour-and-a-half?!  And yet, this is food I would pay some restaurant to make for me and bring to me and then I would give the waitress a tip.

Should my husband sit and watch me carry out this same task, it would look something like this:

I would run downstairs, let the dog out, turn on the TV, start the kettle (which I forgot to check to see if it had enough water in it, so I could be starting a fire instead of heating water).  I will beat the eggs and the cheese together and heat up the pan.  I will put a plate in the oven for the (future) food.  I will give the dog food and water and decide whether we’re having bacon or sausage or both or neither.  I will run to get the eggs into the burning pan.  I will actually turn on the oven to warm the plate I stashed away for the (future) food.  I will decide to make pancakes, which I cannot actually do since the best egg pan and the best pancake pan are actually one and the same and – oh, damn, I forgot to scramble the eggs.  I will put the browned eggs (!) onto the still cold plate in the oven I turned on too late.  I will wash the pan.  I will heat the pan for the pancakes while making my batter and – damn, I can’t stand Dick Gregory and wasn’t that same woman on the panel on Meet the Press last week?  Oh, damn, the pan is burning.  I will make the pancakes; each one of which is too dark on one side because once I went out to get the dog who didn’t come immediately; once I decided to see what other foods I needed to put on the grocery list because when I went to use lemon juice in my tea it was almost empty.  I will start the bacon or sausage and put them into the oven; each and every one slightly burned because I once stood looking out the front door when I heard a door slam; once I decided to check my email; and once I decided to sort my lingerie for washing now instead of later when my husband will probably be in the bathroom and I won’t be able to get to my hamper.

I will call my sons and my husband to the table and I will set the food out – the one-side-dark pancakes, the brown eggs, each piece of burned meat – but it will start getting cold because I never made the juices.  That’s being done while I try to figure out where my Bluetooth is.

Can someone empty the dishwasher for me, please?!

So yes, I am a multitasker.  But a slow, delicious breakfast tastes so much better.

Fortunately for me, I handle my paying work much better than this! (Well, a little better.)

Right now, my brain is tired.  I mean really tired.  I’ve had a very busy day working and sort of working.  A few years ago, I left my day job to build on skills I already had so that I could work for myself.  It was a slow build but here I am, nearly five years later, doing several “jobs” as an independent contractor; dictating my own daily schedule; and feeling pretty good about it. 

That said, any one out there who thinks they ought to work at home because they can work a little less strenuously should run back to the office NOW.  I’ve always been amused by people who say things like, “Oh, I could never work at home.  I’d be so bored!”  HA!  I lie in wait for a boring day.  Here is how bored I’ve been today:

I began and finally delivered an assignment for a client and did the prework for the next two days of assignments; ran through one of the high school presentations I’ll be presenting once the next semester begins; researched and had an online chat about legal issues Sister Village might face in the future if it outlasts me (which I am planning for it to do); generated and answered theatre production emails and passed them on to the artistic director; did some accounting catch-up; took the dog for a long walk through the neighborhood; had an e-meeting regarding Sister Village (it continues to go on, periodically); pretreated and washed my husband’s dress shirts.  Oh, and I found out today that my financial aid is in; so I’m actually going to start graduate school in two weeks. 

(yawn)

I am absolutely not complaining.  On the contrary, when I end the day with a tired brain, I know I have accomplished what I set out to do:  planning and carrying out what I feel are the worthwhile activities in my life and actually getting paid to do some of them.  

I forgot to mention:  I finished it all out by sitting down and having dinner with my family.  (It’s a nice little perk that everyone in my house can cook!)

My husband asked, while he and one of my sons chatted about whatever was on the TV, “Where are you?  You’ve been gone for a long time.”  That’s when I realized I had cleaned my plate and was staring somewhere off in the distance.  I said, “Oh, nowhere.”  But it wasn’t true.  I was thinking about my Make-It-Stick challenge and how tired my brain was.  And then I realized – just tell them about it.  So here I am; finishing out a long, busy day with my sisters in the village – just as I had planned.

Alright.  The warm, fuzzy feeling of a brand new project is wearing off because all the business of it is winding down.  The site is created and I'm feeling proud.  Every element I can foresee has been included.  I've found a brilliant contributor to add sparkle, humor and insight.  I've carefully thought through the purpose, the goals, the worldwide scope of all of it.  The business is winding down.

Now it's time to get down to the nitty-gritty.  I've committed to building a village of women supporting women and I stand by that commitment.  So, here we are; I - the editor; and Sharon - contributor, friend and my support.  But two idealistic, well-intentioned bloggers do not a village make.  Where are the women who are looking for Sister Village, who need Sister Village to get through every day?  How do we find them and welcome them in?

A relevant fact about myself - I try to live like a dinosaur.  I believe in the "old" methods of communication:  talking face to face, ear to ear.  I miss the days when I didn't have to infer the intention behind a statement because I could see it written all over the other person's face.  I miss the days when I could walk out of my door to meet with my community.  This is quickly becoming a thing of the past, even for me, as we opt for conversations through social networking sites, texts and emails.  Well, I suppose it's a good thing, actually; just look at how many more people are within reach.

Yet, in trying to answer the question, "Where are the women who are looking for Sister Village ... and how do we find them and welcome them in?", well, of course, the answer is FACEBOOK.  Like it or not, Facebook, other social networking sites, blogs, and even YouTube open the door to the world.  It is on those sites that people are not afraid to venture out (although the evidence suggests that, more and more, they are afraid to venture out of their doors).  It is on those sites that people courageously speak their minds, share their innermost feelings and call out for help when they need it.  It is on those sites that their inner selves can be revealed.  So, people like me - who desire to embrace women who are searching for a support system they feel they are currently lacking - would be silly to think it can be done without Facebook.

Here's the challenge:  just finding these women is not the goal of Sister Village.  The goal of Sister Village is actually quite ambitious: to find them; to build an online village; and to extend that online village into one town/city/college campus at a time until women everywhere have a reason to venture out of their doors to meet others, to attend each others' events, to have onsite community discussions, to become - well, to become an actual village.

Sister Village has existed for about five days (not counting the years it has been brewing in my mind).  On day two I faced my own shortcomings and entered a self-made challenge to develop the permanent habit of talking to the Village.  I have put everything in place.  Now, I will venture out into cyberspace - the place I have always shunned in favor of face-to-face communication - in order to find women who are looking for friends, mentors and mentees.

If you are reading this, please join the Village.  There is a place for you here - and out there - and we all have a lot to do for each other.